Master Hai Tao - I'm Ready Can I Leave Home 我準備好了，是否可以出家了

(English subtitles) Buddhist Master Hai Tao (海濤法師, born in 1958) talks dharma.
subtitles:
In the past, I ever pursued something in the world. For example, I would prefer a better job and salary, have a good marriage partner, have a higher education, and so on. I have made lots of efforts to achieve these goals. When these goals were achieved one by one, I discovered that I was not as happy as I first imagined. Then, there are times when I feel empty and depressed. I usually feel disappointed if I look forward to external circumstances because worldly things are always changing.
1:00
So now my mental state have changed a lot. That is, I almost no longer pursue anything in the world and have no attachment anymore, like fame, profits, love and marriage, etc. Those things do not interest me. Those things delight others can not delight me at all. Now I just want to do somethings benefit the masses. I look forward to spreading the Dharma and benefiting all sentient beings, just as you, Help the masses with your wisdom. I feel that only such things can interest me. He said: If your work is not smooth or you can not find a partner, you should never leave home because of these reasons.
2:00
But my status is not like this. That is, I've seen through the world and no longer attached. May I ask Master: In such a mindset, am I suitable to leave home?
Of course, what you just said is correct. When people don't own something, they go after it. Go after desires, fulfillment, money, love. You won't suffer then because you are making every effort to pursue. Then, when you get it, you will feel more pain. Why? Because it's not what you think. It’s too cold at high places. Because when you have more money, you lose more. The farthest thing from you in this world may be your heart.
3:00
The more you seek outside, the more painful you will be. Basically, I sympathize with people who have money and high social status because they are far away from their self nature. His heart is wandering, feeling nothing but void. Of course, you will feel pain. This is what Buddha said: Everything in the world is impermanent, suffering, empty. What do you go after in this world? Because Shakyamuni Buddha has set an example for us. He was born in a wealthy family. He has three wives and 500 maids who play with him every day. He owns palaces with various styles. His father gave him the best and wanted to pass the throne to him. But he felt pain. Why? Because he saw elders, patients, and the dead. He basically couldn't solve this problem. No matter how much I own, I can not solve these basic problems. So this is the good root he cultivated in his previous life.
4:00
He came to this world just to help sentient beings, not for enjoyment. So for him, enjoyment is a kind of pain, and only dedication can bring him happiness. So I think your situation is normal. That is from nothing to having something. After having that, you feel more pressure. The question is, leaving home is great, but can you really let it go? You are still thinking about it.
Like a lot of women, it would be nice if I didn't get married. Then the husband said: Ok, I will find women outside. I'm pissed off, I'll beat you to death. Because then your jealousy comes again. If there is, you complain. If not, you feel sad and don't know what to do. In a situation like this, you have to honestly ask yourself. Take me for example, I am just like you said. We are all like this, study, make money, buy a car. Even not knowing how to drive, some people will buy a car and leave it there. That's my car, because I really don't know how to drive.
5:00
After that, I felt even more depressed because I didn’t have a goal for the next step. Later I read Buddha's Biography and Ksitigarbha Sutra. Then I determined to leave home, that is not an escape. Many friends of mine considered me irresponsible. How to do with your company and your family? I said this is not irresponsible as you think. They've stopped opposing me lately. In particular, I have a best friend who broke up with me. This guy is so irresponsible because we are both in the construction industry. Then he broke up with me. Later, he resume the relationship with me. I went to the funeral home to help with the chanting. The told me a name. As a result, when I went there, there were so many bodies. I didn't know which one. No name was written on it. Besides, I dared not to turn them over to check. Right? How do I know? Because they had too many bodies that day to put in the fridge.
6:00
All were left outside. Then I chanted very hard for all of them. Later, the friend of mine showed up behind me. It turns out you didn’t leave home because you were lazy. It turns out you didn’t leave home because you were lazy. You are chanting so seriously. I don’t know which one it is, so I have to chant to everyone. But he was touched, he thought I escaped from reality and left home. I'm glad that he understood.