Master Chin Kung - What to do if Lay Buddhists Insist on Admonishing and Cause Discord

(English subtitles) Buddhist Master Chin-Kung (淨空法師), 1927-2022, talks dharma. 學佛居士過分執著勸導導致與家人不和該怎麼辦
Subtitles:
I have a close relative, who have been chanting buddha in the association for a long time. She hopes that her family believe in Buddhism and chant buddha like her. However, because of her incessant chatter and love of advice, she doesn't get along with her family and her brothers don't want to go home to have dinner, which made everyone unhappy and dispersed. May I ask : Will such attachments create bad karma? I am afraid that her incessant chatter will affect the reputation of our association and mislead the master's idea.
In fact, many families have similar problems. May the master enlighten.
Indeed, this is a big problem, not a small problem.
First, we learn Pure Land Buddhism. The Buddha taught us that the most top principle we should abide by is the three blessings of pure karma.
The 1st phrase: Raise and be filial to parents, respect teachers and serve elders. Be merciful and don't kill, and practice the 10 virtues.
The 2nd phrase: Take 3 Refuges, observe precepts, don't violate the dignity or manners.
The 3rd phrase: Develop bodhicitta, deeply believe in causality, study Mahayana, persuade people. Hereafter, he persuade others. You see, 11 phrases in total.
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Have you practiced the first 10 phrases? If you haven't done the first 10 phrases, only learn to persuade others, you will get the opposite effect.
Many association members have been visiting and studying in Tangchi for several days.
The teaching of Tangchi is to teach the local 48,000 people. Why is the teaching successful? When the teachers first came, I spoke to them. You must do it first, like Di Zi Gui (student rules). If you can't do it, don't persuade others. Why? People don't believe you. After you did it, you teach others. If you want to persuade people, you must do all the basic courses. I've talked too much about the basic courses – the 3 roots of Confucianism, Buddhism, Daoism. Do well the Di Zi Gui, the Treatise of the Cause and Effect, the 10 Virtues. Everyone in the family will like you and respect you. You persuade them, they will accept and be grateful. If you didn't do well but persuade people, they will say you are lying, and you are a hypocrite.
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so, the teaching fails because the teacher didn't do it himself. You can see the center of Tangchi, there is nothing else. What does its success rely on? Teachers implement 100% of the rules for students. In addition, every day they are learning and
reflect on what they are not doing well . You don't need the dharma, only use Di Zi Gui, you can teach your family well. If a Buddhist is in discord with his family, he is not practicing Buddhism.
The Buddhism is to universally liberate all beings, first of all to liberate his family. Buddhists should get along well with their family. If family members likes to eat meat, you should not oppose it. They will be joyful. If you say: if you eat meat, you'll get retribution in the future. He will turn hostile immediately. How will he accept it?
The 4 Ways of Access are said by the Buddha to approach the public: Generosity, Pleasing words, Beneficial deeds, Fellowship.
You didn't do it. The 1st one is generosity, then Pleasing words, Beneficial deeds, Fellowship. Which of these 4 things did you do?
Where do you start the 4 ways of access? From the couple. If wife and husband should treat each other with the 4 ways of access, this couple will get along harmoniously for 100 years. 6:00
They never quarrel and are envied by the secular world. The Buddha has taught you, but you never understand and never do it. So you have so many problems.
When we are in a group with 4+ people, we have to be open to the views, customs, language and beliefs of others. If family members get along well, every thing will be prosperous, buddhas and gods will bless you, and there will be enormous benefits.
I ask myself to be enlightened but not ask others to be enlightened. How do I get enlightened? Let go of discrimination and attachment. Did you let go of discrimination and attachment? The real skill is right here.
No matter how many sutra you have read and how many buddha's name you have chanted. If you didn't let go of discrimination and attachment, further, it's still firm and growing. It's said well in Mahayana, it's called dharma in the human world. What you practice is the good fortune of human and heaven. You will neither be free from reincarnation nor be reborn in the Land of Bliss.
While rebirth with karma is possible, it is only with old karma, not new karma. So, Teacher Li often said: Only 3 out of 10,000 Pure Land Buddhists who who know their rebirth time in advance and really get reborn.
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Why? People are severely attached and can not let go. It's not every Buddhist who chants the Buddha can be reborn. Therefore, you have to always think about your own faults, and others are not wrong.