Master Chin Kung - Forbearance is not Loss but Win 忍辱不是輸而是贏

(English subtitles) Buddhist Master Chin-Kung (淨空法師 ,1927-2022 ) talks dharma.
Subtitles:
The best way to resolve conflicts is to endure humiliation. If you can bear it, the problem will be immediately resolved. What should you do if you encounter this situation?
Without experience, you have no way to learn the paramita of enduring humiliation.
In this respect, before I study Buddhism, after the victory of the war of resistance, I was studying in Nanjing.
1:00
We had 3 classes of a grade for A, B, C. At that time, I was studying grade 3 in the middle school. We were in different classes. I was in Class A, another classmate was in Class B. We were close buddies and often played together. Back then, I was young and liked to tease classmates. School held a picture contest. Topic is landscape sketching of the school. Paint our own campus. The school held this event.
2:00
My artwork, the painting I drew won the 3rd prize in the whole school competition. Many classmates came to admire my artwork. I told them, Do you know why I won the 3rd prize? I ask them, they feel confused: “You paint well.”
I said, “It's not that I paint well. Every students draw static objects, painting flowers and trees, buildings, and so on. But not me, I just painted that classmate, who was sketching, and I sketched him.
3:00
You are painting plants which are static, while I am painting an animal.” I dug at him like that.
He heard that but didn't get angry. So we didn't get conflicts. He endured my insult. This classmate always praised me behind my back. On the contrary, I often humiliated him in front of his face.
One year later, I was touched by him. I apologized to him and repented to him. He is outstanding.
4:00
It means that he taught me the paramita of forbearance in one year. Afterwards, I was able to bear it. When I held public office in Taiwan. Once I encountered a misunderstanding. I had no malice at all. Another colleague misunderstood my words and attitudes. He scolded me loudly, punched and kicked me. I didn't return a word. He beat me, I let him beat and didn't fight back. He punched me to the ground, but I acted as nothing happened. Then he couldn't hit me anymore.
5:00
A colleague aside pulled me up, persuading him, and he left. He came and apologized to me the next day. I said, “You are remarkable. You know to apologize the next day. I bullied my classmates, I apologized to him after one year. You are much better than me.” Not only we didn't become enemy but also became better friends. You see, it's just a thought in a moment. If I hadn't learned that competence, we definitely would have a conflict.
6:00
If things get bad, both of us could get a record of demerit.
How much damage is this? When encountering this situation, you have to bear it. Forbearance is not losing to the opponent but to overcome it. This is a trivial matter that may happen to you everyday.
The big conflict in society, conflicts between ethnic groups, conflicts between the countries often start out as trifles but turn into calamity finally because of intolerance.
7:00
You could pay a painful price and bear a deep grudge against others.
If you can't resolve it, speaking in dharma, grudge may last forever life after life eternally. That's a big wrong.
I often tell these little stories to people. It's very useful after I learn Buddhism. I know how to resolve conflicts.
8:00
Endure whatever others can't endure. Do matters others are unwilling to do. This is a good disciple of the Buddha. The first step is to bear external hardship. If you can't bear hardship, your achievements will be limited. No matter how diligently you practice. It will be very hard for you to beat average achievement.
Two phrases were left before Sakyamuni Buddha passed away, and that is priceless.
9:00
The first phrase teaches us to regard precepts as teacher. The Buddha doesn't live in the world anymore. Who do we rely on as a teacher? Sakyamuni Buddha didn't specify anyone but said to regard precepts as a teacher. Precepts are teachers.
In other words, Buddhist disciples, regardless of whether they are at home or in the monastery, must respect precepts as respecting the Buddha in person.
Since you respect the Buddha, you should observe precepts. If you don't observe precepts, meaning you don't respect the Buddha,
10:00
even though you worship every day and break your head by bowing. It's useless because your deeds are not in line with Buddhist teachings. If you truthfully observe precepts, even no bowing, you are still a good student of the Buddha. Bodhisattvas and gods will bless you.
The 2nd is to regard hardship as a teacher.