Teacher Lee, Rui Lie - Send Parents to Nursing Home 送父母去療養院

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Đại Nguyện Nguyện 18 trong 48 Đại Nguyện của Phật A Di Đà : Nếu con được thành Phật, mà chúng sanh trong mười phương dốc lòng tin tưởng, muốn sanh về cõi nước con chỉ trong mười niệm, nếu không được toại nguyện, thì con chẳng trụ ở Ngôi Chánh Giác, trừ kẻ phạm năm tội nghịch và gièm chê Chánh Pháp. Nam Mô Pháp Giới Tạng Thân A Di Đà Phật Lời Khuyên Tịnh Độ (Ấn Quang Đại Sư) “ Ấn Quang từ Tây qua Ðông, từ Bắc xuống Nam, qua lại hơn vạn dặm, gặp gỡ nhiều người. Trong số đó, lắm kẻ bình nhật tự vỗ ngực là bậc thông Tông, thông Giáo, coi Tịnh Ðộ như uế vật, chỉ sợ nó làm bẩn lây đến mình. Lúc lâm chung, đa số chân loạn tay cuống, kêu cha gào mẹ. Trong số ấy, có những người trì giới niệm Phật già giặn, chắc thật, dù Tín Nguyện chưa đến mức cùng cực, tướng lành chẳng hiện, nhưng đều an nhiên mạng chung. Vì sao như vậy? Là vì tâm thuỷ trong lặng, do phân biệt nên xao động, đục ngầu, sóng thức trào dâng. Do Phật hiệu nên tâm thuỷ ngưng lặng. Bởi thế, kẻ thượng trí chẳng bằng kẻ hạ ngu, biến quá khéo thành vụng về lớn vậy!”
Published
(English subtitles) Lectured by Daoist teacher Rui-Lie Lee (李瑞烈, 1921-2015).
Subtitles:
It was on TV that a care home for the elderly in Taipei burned down yesterday. Some of their children were crying there. What were they crying for? I'm not biased, if you are filial to your parents, why would you take your parents to a nursing home? That's a frank statement. Some people say: “I can't help it. We, a couple, both have to work, and no one can take care of the elder.” That is incorrect.
If the elder is healthy and mobile, and able to take care of their grandchildren, this couple has no problem going to work.
1:00
Otherwise, it would be inappropriate for both spouses to go to work. It's better to make money alone, but it depends on capability. See if the husband makes more or the wife makes more. If the husband makes more, the wife needs to stay home. If the wife makes more, the husband needs to stay home to take care of parents. This is the real filial piety.
This is the fact. If you send your parents to a nursing home, they will not feel at ease or happy. I have such an experience. I have a friend who lives in Taipei. At that time, his father was old, and he was not badly off but sent his father to the care home. Every time I went to Taipei, I'd visit his father no matter how busy I was, sort of an old friend.
2:00
When I left, he grabbed the corner of my clothes tightly and said, "Teacher, sit down for a while." Other said, Teacher need to study scriptures. He will visit you next time. He cried while speaking. In this case, where is his son's filial piety? He is very pitiful. So for somebody, both spouses are working.
There are so many problematic families and juvenile delinquents nowadays. What is the problem? It's because of key children. If grandparents are at home and still young, and they can take care of kids for you, that's okay. If grandparents die early or are very old, unable to take care of kids, you leave the elderly and kids at home.
3:00
When the children are out of school, they'll hang out, and spend money randomly to buy useless things. They will join gangsters and become problem students.
It would be inappropriate for me to give my own example. But if I don't tell you, you won't understand. At that time, both my son and his wife went out to work and gave birth to a baby. They planned to hire a nanny to take care of the baby, but I stopped them and said, One of you has to stay home to take care of the baby, so you won't have problem children. Both of them are filial, so my daughter-in-law quit the job and said,
4:00
It's okay not to eat well, but we have a stable life. She then took care of the kids at home. I ever saw my neighbor who put their child in the care of a nanny until he was 3 years old. Do you know how pitiful it was? He and his mother couldn't get along. Sometimes I feel emotional while reading a newspaper. What the parents abuse children, beat them with vines. The child was beaten until he was bruised and battered, and the parents were said to be cruel.
If you send children to nanny's home, you and children definitely won't get along. In fact, situation causes it, and parents are responsible for it. Why? You hire people to take care of kids, so kids are not familiar with parents. Except those babies who still don't know a thing, are held and drinking milk.
5:00
Otherwise, you may invite nanny to your home, and parents can see him every day. Right? Or, send kids to the nanny in the morning, and take him back home at night to be with the parents. If the nanny takes care of him full time, he will be scared to see his parents. How scared is he? Like my neighbor's kid who was afraid of parents and dared not go to bathroom when he had to pee and ended up peeing in his pants. 4 years old still peed in the pants, his dad got a vine to beat him. You bad boy, 4 years old still pee in the pants, so beat him with a vine. The more beating, the more the kid was scared. As a result, he becomes a problem youth. Now, some say that's child abuse. Even ferocious tiger don't eat its cubs. How come to abuse their own children? It's the wrong first step for a parent to take. I don't lie to you.
6:00
If you don't believe, you calmly observe those who abuse children or send parents to care home, these are all problem families and not warm families.
Speaking of my father, praising myself isn't good, but if I don't give examples, you don't understand. What I am about to say
has been witnessed by some fellows.
Back then, my father was already over 90. When he was able to walk and run, every brother wanted to raise him. When he was a bit demented, no one wanted him. Many brothers suggested sending him to a nursing home, but I disagree. My wife looked after him in the morning. I needed to study scriptures. I slept with my father at night.
Category
Dharma
Tags
buddha, buddhism, buddhist